I am an awesome human

I can neither confirm nor deny that today I frantically stripped to my bra and underwear on my back patio because I thought a spider had jumped on me while I was on the phone with pest control. Okay fine, confirm. Of course after shaking out my jeans and shirt I couldn't find the spider but that's not surprising since spiders are notoriously sneaky little fucks. This one is probably just chilling on the patio waiting to start round two. Please remember, spiders are scary.

Another example of my ability to be an awesome human is that I am incapable of seeing Truman play with a steering wheel at a playground without singing:
I'm drivin' a truck
Drivin' a big ol' truck
Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck
Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn
Drivin' a truck with my high heels on


One day I should send him to the playground with little dress up heels on for my own amusement.

new! house!

Greetings from the new house! I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing me go on and on about it (at least the people that follow me on twitter are) but seriously, I love it. We have a yard! And it's so quiet at night! And there's so much room! Today I walked to the super cute drugstore around the corner and on the way home I saw this:

Guys, my new neighborhood is so badass.

Of course, moving while jparks is in Iceland hasn't left a lot of time for unpacking, even though my mom came in for a few days to help. She unpacked the kitchen for me and then we both collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion, leaving the rest of the house boxed up. This has led to some interesting improvisations on my part including but not limited to:

Giving the dog water out of the lid of a plastic shoe box. Looking back I'm not sure why I didn't use a cereal bowl since my mom unpacked the kitchen. I'm sure it was because the dog was upstairs and the bowls were all the way downstairs and I am excessively lazy.

Washing my face with melon scented baby wash because my face stuff was packed somewhere. My face smelled lovely though.

Using my reflection in the windows to brush my hair since we have zero mirrors in the house.

Hanging black garbage bags in Truman's windows since we also are lacking curtains or blinds.

Having to use one of those wisp brushes to brush my teeth one morning because I forgot my toothbrush at the apartment. Those things might be life savers if you're on a date and want to refresh before a kiss but it did nothing that morning to kill my garlic breathe. Although I guess it's better than the old toothpaste on your finger trick.

I would like to think that once jparks gets home all the boxes will magically unpack themselves and the house will fill up with perfect furniture, but I doubt that's the case. So please, feel free to come visit as we have a guest room but don't expect a real coffee table in our living room, these boxes are filling in for awhile.

gender equality

I'm not one of those smug pregnant women that just wanted a healthy baby. No, I might not have voiced it too many times out loud but I really wanted a healthy baby that also happened to be a boy. Honestly I figured that since we already had one boy we were bound to have another because that seems logical. I mean, check out our storage closet, we have a crapton of boy clothes! When I change a little girl's diaper I am always briefly shocked that a part has broken off. I am the minority in the house and I am okay with that.

After telling you that, it should come as no shock that we had our 20 week ultrasound on Friday and SURPRISE, the baby is a girl. As in, not a boy. Hahaha, life you are cruel and really think you're funny, don't you?

Jparks and I spent Friday in shock, taking in the news, and trying to process it. Please don't misunderstand, we are both very excited about having a girl, but when you are certain you're having a boy, an ultrasound that tells you otherwise is a shock. Hell, even the ultrasound tech mentioned just how shell shocked we seemed.

Over the course of the weekend we have definitely digested the news and have moved onto bigger issues than just missing boy bits. We've started the hunt for girl names which means my bedtime reading is now stressful and involves a lot of vetoing jparks' name suggestions from things in his video game.
No honey, we will not name our daughter after your in-game corporation or your mobile app for tracking your character stats (Aideron and Aura, for those that are curious)
Child, you can thank me later for talking your father out of those names.

burny

fuuuuck, I've hit the heartburn stage of pregnancy hard. Make the burning stop little chalky tablets of pointlessness.

It should also be known that jparks hates how I eat Tums and likes to lecture me that they are medicine and not candy. Shut it jparks, I'll eat whatever kind of medicine I'm allowed to have right now like m&m's if I want. Now pass the Costco sized bottle of Tylenol PM, I need to bake some into cookies for my midnight snack.