I'm a dirty, dirty girl

This month's issue of Real Simple told me that don't have to wash my hair everyday. And if Real Simple says it, then it MUST be true, so today I skipped washing my hair.

Folks, you may not realize it, but me not washing my hair is big deal. I'm of the shampoo and condition every single day mentality (you can't shampoo and not condition, and why would you condition without shampooing?) If I skip a day my hair gets really gross and it bothers me. I'm compelled to play with it all day, which of course makes it much more disgusting. After a while I can't handle how gross it feels and I end up pulling it back into a ponytail, which is not the best solution, but it helps.

According to Real Simple, your scalp is used to producing a certain amount of oil and if you skip stripping it of the oil for a few days it will stop producing as much, which means eventually you can skip a day of hair washing and not look like a hobo. (longest sentence ever™) Today was my first day into Operation Hair Repair (my hair has seemed kinda 'over worked' lately and I'm hoping that by skipping some shampooing it'll get healthy again. Maybe even hold a hair color for longer than 3 days) and I lasted until about 10:30 before I was ready to rip out big chunks because it was so greasy and itchy and just disgusting. I finally had put my hair into a ponytail, which is jparks' favorite hair style on me and my least favorite.

Tomorrow I get to wash my hair, and I can't even begin to explain how exciting that is. Supposedly it takes a couple of weeks for your hair to lower its oil production so know that if you see me in these next few weeks and I have greasy hair and/or a ponytail, I'm clean. I swear I'm showering and wetting my hair, just not actually washing it.

Ugh, just writing about dirty hair is making my head itch. I wonder if I can try using baby powder to absorb the oil, or if that'll just make me look like I'm wearing a powdered wig. I really hope Operation Hair Repair works and I'm not torturing myself for nothing.

Please Real Simple, don't be wrong! I can't handle having my faith in you shaken.

what's your name again?

I have a confession: I am horrible with names. Beyond horrible actually. If you tell me your name, I will forget it in less than 10 seconds. That's a guarantee, forgotten in 10 seconds or less or your money back.

This has never been much of a problem until recently. Since starting my new job I've met tons of people and, since my job is client services, I really should be remembering all of their names. But I can't. I shake their hands and politely introduce myself to them and then Wham! forget their name as soon as they say it. It's even worse when I'm on the phone with a person. They introduce them self and my ears blank out their name. "Hi this is cricket sounds and I'm calling..."

You would think in my private life I might make more of an effort to remember people's names, but I don't. Since joining Trapeze Arts I've met a bunch of people and can't tell you one of their names. The sad part is that now I've seen them enough times that I can't ask their names, that would be rude and weird. So I'm stuck waiting for someone else to call our their name so I can make a mental note of it.

Seems tiring doesn't it? It really is. I spend a lot of time eavesdropping on conversations in the hopes that I'll learn a name or two. I don't know why I have this block against learning names and even when I have the best intentions to remember them, it seems I can't.

On the other hand, I really am a nosy person and I love having a half way decent reason to eavesdrop. Maybe I unconsciously don't learn people's names so I can continue to do this guilt free. dear god, that's sick and I might want to get some help.

upon seeing me wearing his hat and coat

"You look cute in that. I must look really good when I wear it."

Oscar Pool 2007

I recently received the chance to win fame and glory (within a small circle of friends) by correctly picking this year's Oscar's winners. I've got 24 categories to pick in and so far I've made one prediction, Best Animated Feature: Cars. And the only reason I was able to make that prediction was because it's Pixar, so by default it has to win, right?

The problem I'm facing is that I have seen only one of the movies nominated for Best Picture (Little Miss Sunshine), one movie in the Best Actress category (Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada), and none of the movies in the Best Actor category.

I was kinda hoping you guys might help me make my decisions. I'll list the category, tell you my pick, and then you guys can agree or disagree as you see fit.

Best Actor:
Leonardo DiCaprio- Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling- Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole- Venus
Will Smith- the Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker- Last King of Scotland

my pick: Peter O'Toole. I think he'll win because he's an older actor that has been many times nominated but has never won. He has made it clear that he intents to win an Oscar before he stops acting and this may be the Academy's last chance to fulfill his dream.

Best Actress:
Penelope Cruz- Volver
Judi Dench- Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren- The Queen
Meryl Streep- The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet- Little Children

my pick: Helen Mirren. I've read she's amazing as Queen Elizabeth, bringing grace and sexuality to the role that no one expected.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:
Alan Arkin- Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley- Little Children
Djimon Hounsou- Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy- Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg- The Departed

my pick: Alan Arkin. He played the grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine in such an amazingly tender way I was just blown away. Despite the fact that he was a total coke head I just wanted to hug him.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:
Adriana Barraza- Babel
Cate Blanchett- Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin- Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson- Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi- Babel

my pick: uh, I have no idea. The only movie listed above that I saw was Little Miss Sunshine. While Abagail Breslin was good, was she Oscar good? I don't think so.

Best Picture:
Babel
The Departed
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

my pick: The Departed, although I'm really not certain about that. Little Miss Sunshine was good and the Academy does like to prove it has a sense of humor by sometimes picking comedies that are good, but maybe not as good as other nominated movies.

Of course, there are tons of other categories including, Best Producer, Best Director, Original Song, and Best Screenplay, and I'll gladly accept your opinions on those.

Come on people, don't let me be a loser!

my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps!

I've got another couple of trampoline lessons coming up (assuming I don't knock myself out in the first 5 minutes of class) and I'm a bit concerned about my lovely lady humps.

As I previously mentioned, I am not ready for a juggy audition and need to find a way to strap them down for fear that they'll bounce into harm's way. The sports bras I have aren't doing the trick and, if I'm remembering correctly, they are max support ones.

So I'm turning to you dear friends for support (har har, get it?) and help. What do you suggest I use to keep the humps in check? Is there a miracle brand of sports bra I don't know about? Is there a trick that's well known to everyone but me? I've got to figure something out or else my trampoline career might be ending soon.

home again

Pictures from jparks and I's weekend trip can be found here. We had tons of fun and plan on visiting Ashland again.

And Happy Mardi Gras. I'm a bit homesick and not happy right now. Mainly because I'm at a desk working and not enjoying crawfish and a Purple Haze.

my rent is about to go way up

Yesterday, after enduring 7 hours of horrible traffic, jparks and I arrived at the most amazing bed and breakfast I have ever stayed in. In honesty it's the only true b&b I've ever stayed in so it didn't have a lot of competition, but still the place is niiice.

We are staying in the Juliet room, and while it's a bit on the lavender side, I am completely enamored with it and its huge spa tub that I swam laps in last night. I told jparks that I would like to live in this place and he laughed this off as just another one of those things I say but don't mean, like "sure, I'll stop buying shoes" and "yeah, we'll have sex tonight"

But this time I mean it. I figured out that rent would be about $6200 per month. I'm still working out how we can afford that since it's more than we make each month, but I'm smart so I'll work something out. Maybe Lily can stop eating premium dog food and switch to store brand.

Now please excuse me, coffee and breakfast are being served downstairs and missing it would be a waste of my rent money.

another typical conversation

"I think you're right, my boobs are getting smaller."

"Yeah, but you're getting smaller everywhere. See, your jeans aren't tight anymore pushing this (grabs at my stomach) over them."

stunned look

"What? I'm just saying you're getting thinner"

"By saying that previously I was fat with a muffin top."

"I would never tell you you were fat if you were still fat."

"Thanks"

2007 is the year of the injury

Growing up I was never the kid at the top of the monkey bars or climbing trees. This also means I was never the kid with skinned up knees or broken bones. And while some might think this means I had a sheltered childhood, I can say I honestly loved sitting inside my safe, warm house reading all 528 Babysitter Club Books.

And I have remained relatively injury free right up until this year. It started when, during one trapeze class, I fell into the net landing just slightly on my head. I sat up and told jparks "oh, that hurt my neck a little" but didn't think anything of it. By the time we got home I could barely turn my head. By the time we went to bed I was in a lot of pain. The next day I went to the Urgent Care clinic where x-rays revealed that I needed some prescription strength Aleve and a heating pad. Three days later I was healed and able to look in both directions again.

Then, earlier this week, I jumped off the trapeze platform with my arms bent. The pull of my body weight jerked my arms straight and hurt my right shoulder. Again, I thought nothing of it, and took another swing. That swing hurt a bit more. But of course, I climbed back up to the platform for a third swing. After that I was done for the night and could barely lift my arm.

That last incident was only 3 days ago and somehow I've managed to hurt myself again. Tonight jparks and I had our first trampoline class (note to self: go buy a better bra. I am not ready for my Juggy audition) and during a timed jump off, I lost control and slammed my knee into my forehead. Not surprisingly this knocked me down and almost out. The good news is that the instructor said he didn't know people could fold in half like that. The bad news is I am a moron.

I could reduce my risk of injury by not taking any more trapeze or trampoline classes, but I really like both of them. I think from here out I'll just be more careful and maybe not trash talk as much. Did I mention that part? Each time I get hurt it's right after I trash talk to Jason. Tonight I called him a pussy and then karma made me hit my head.

Maybe, before I learn anything else, I should learn to keep my mouth shut. Or maybe jparks should stop being a pussy.

Happy Valentine's Day

To celebrate Valentine's Day jparks sent me flowers (tulips and irises) to the office and is not bitching while I watch reruns of Growing Pains. Kirk Cameron was so cute when I was 10 and before he became a crazy Christian.

twittering away

Yesterday I joined a new service (well, it's new to me) called Twitter which allows me to send short messages from my cell phone or AIM. The messages can then be received on my friends' cell phones, AIMs, or they can view them on my twitter page. (I'm doing a really poor job explaining this as I'm hopelessly untech savvy)

Thus far I only have two friends on Twitter, but I mainly signed up because this weekend jparks and I are going on vacation to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (did you hear that? It was jparks' balls falling off and hitting the ground) and I'm pretty sure that the b&b we're staying in doesn't have internet. But it does have a bath tub for two, so the lack of internet is forgiven.

And while the tub does help soothe the pain, not having internet leaves a void in my soul that Twitter can help fill. So grab an RSS feed to my Twitter page or sign up and add me as a friend. Either way, you'll never be without the latest Regan update or a rundown of whatever stupid thing jparks does next.

why can't aluminum be heavier?

I brought in my first round of recycling over the weekend and I ended up making so much money that the recycling center people suggested I get an armored guard to follow me home in case someone tried to car jack me. In fact they suggested I go straight to the bank because a person should really not walk around carrying that much cash. So I did that and when me and the armored guard showed up at the bank, the tellers were so overwhelmed with how much cash I had, they all quit because none of them could count high enough to count my mad stacks of Benjamins.

Or, I took my little bag of recycling to the SMaRT station and waited in line behind a guy that had a whole pickup truck's bed full of recycling. Once he was all weighed and given a receipt, I walked up to have mine weighed. The woman working the scale was confused about why I was bringing in such a small quantity and at first suggested I just toss them in the bins. I made it clear that I wanted my puny bag weighed and she did it, chuckling under her breath the whole time. In my defense, my bag was puny because I only brought the recycling from home, I didn't have mine or jparks' work recycling. And because I don't work in a restaurant that allows me to keep all the recycling the customers create.

I ended up with under 5lbs of recycling and when you have that little then you don't have to cash out that same day. You get a receipt that you can cash in later when you have enough to at least get a dollar bill and not a handful of change.

Later this week I'm going to bring in the rest of the recycling I have. Maybe then I'll have my first dollar saved towards Blogher 2007. Of course, at this rate it might be more like Blogher 2008 before I have enough money saved.

how much do I love this? a lot.

from cnn.com:

Reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39

Okay, so I don't love that she's dead, I mean, I'm not evil. But I love that this woman was her own soap opera. She gives birth and her other child dies while visiting her in the hospital. THEN she marries Howard K. Stern, her attorney, but it's not legal because they married in the Bahamas (or some other foreign island country). THEN she claims Stern is the father of her new child, not the other guy that says the kid is his. THEN she refuses to have a DNA test performed on the baby. THEN she gets sued because the diet pill she was spokesperson for doesn't work. THEN she dies in the Hard Rock Hotel. And all of this happened in the past two weeks. (Or past few months, but whatever)

Seriously, has there ever been a celebrity with more drama? And I'm not even getting into the fact that she was a stripper and married some guy that was like 164 years old. And convinced her whole family to get tattoos of her on various parts of their body.

Good lord, I'm going to miss Anna Nicole.

[update] A judge just ordered her body to be preserved. PRESERVED! It's like she's Cleopatra. Will a mummified Anna Nicole be scarier than a living Anna Nicole?

how to make your wife laugh

as performed by jparks

1. Rub Bengay on her shoulders and neck
2. Go pee (use the same hand that you just used to apply Bengay)
3. Whine, while grabbing at yourself, and doing a sort of "I'm in pain" dance, that you got Bengay on your wanker and the Bengay is on its hot phase.

If she doesn't laugh when you do this, maybe you should consider divorce as she can't possibly have any sense of humor.

ugly shirt goes to town

Do you guys remember Ugly Shirt™? I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it, but Ugly Shirt's™ price finally dropped as low as it would ever go ($19.96, I think) and I bought it. I've had it hanging in the recesses of my closet since October waiting for the right reason to wear it out.

Saturday night that reason finally came: Professional Bull Riding or YEEHAWIN' as we liked to call it. A few girls and I were headed to the Oracle Arena to watch boys in tight Wrangler jeans ride 2000 pounds of meat bull and this event was just calling to Ugly Shirt™.

I had doubts as I pulled it out of the closet, but I must say, once Ugly Shirt™ was on, it looked good! Surprisingly good. And I didn't feel like a moron wearing it.

And since I promised that when I finally wore Ugly Shirt™ I would post pictures of it, here you go:



I think I was lecturing jparks about how stupid I felt during this little photo session


After the pictures were taken I pulled my hair back into pigtails, because nothing says country to me like pigtails.

new lens

On Friday I got a sweet new lens for my D80. I am absolutely in lurve with this lens and have no idea how I survived so long without it. I'm eternally grateful to Whitney for telling me about it.

you can't reason with the unreasonable

me: why do you have to get all pissy when you're asking me to turn the tv off? Didn't I tell you that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?

jparks: yeah, but I don't want to catch flies!