if only I could make up my mind

Earlier this year I mentioned that jparks and I were toying with the idea of moving to Austin and now I find myself in Austin, scouring real estate listings real estate listings mapping out open houses. Someone send help in the form of vodka, but preferably not sparkling pink, made for 16 year old girls vodka.

For the past few months I've been wrestling with if we should stay in California and continue to live in a tiny, very crowded house or move to Austin, where the houses are bigger, but life becomes an unknown. It should be noted that I'm a little afraid of the unknown and I hate our tiny, very crowded house so the right decision is totally not obvious. Also, I loathe making big decisions. Add it all together and it equals me with an stress ulcer. Fun!

To back up a bit, about a month ago we booked a trip to Austin when we were not sure that moving here was really an option. In that time we realized moving was a very real option and we decided to get some real estate investigating done on said trip. But! But! I'm trying to do all my own research on housing without talking to a real estate agent and without really knowing the area because I don't want to get a third party professional involved. I call it the shoe salesman situation. When in a shoe store, if I sort of kinda like a pair of shoes and the salesperson brings them out, chances are I'll buy them because he went through the trouble of finding them, I've gone through the trouble of trying them on, and they've gone through the trouble of being pretty cute. This is why I don't screw around with shoe stores and stick to zappos. I just know that we'll be browsing open houses and BAM! I'll find a house I sort of like and the agent will start talking and next thing you know I'll be the proud owner of a pretty cute house in Austin.

So we're doing it on our own, which does mean a lot more work for me and this does lower our chances of moving since I am pretty lazy. In fact "I'm lazy" should go in the con column for Austin because ugh, this really is snowballing into a lot of work. Why can't I just do a real estate search for "homes near Rudy's Breakfast Tacos"? Or "homes in the part of Austin that is livable, won't drive me crazy, and won't make me regret moving" because I don't know where that section of town is and finding it just seems like it might take longer than the week I'm here. Added bonus if this perfect fantasy neighborhood is in a good school district because oh yeah, I have that kind of thing to worry about too.

Maybe a tiny, very crowded in California isn't so bad after all.

cat littered

Remember when I mentioned that Molly has ruined the carpet in our guest room and, in order to safely turn it in a nursery, I would have to replace it? I would like to go back to that time please. That time when I didn't know just how hella expensive carpet is. And when I could look at Molly without wanting to force her into kitty pageants to pay off her many vet bills and home improvement expenses. (Do you think that cat pageants would be as awesome as dog pageants are in Best In Show? Because if so, I'm packing up a busy bee and entering one immediately.)

I've gotten two bids on replacing the carpet in that one 10'x16' room and the first bid is right below $1000 and the second is just above $1100. I could call more companies, but I am confident that the lower bid will be the lowest I'm going to get. When the contractor called me with the bid info he even told me "I buy a lot of carpet and I've got to be honest, that's some expensive carpet." Great. Thanks Molly for literally pissing away $1000. Perhaps if I use loose change in your litter box instead of cat litter you'll start going in there? Would that be more acceptable for your bathroom needs? You do realize that I have to pay for cat litter, so even by peeing on that you are costing me money. Why can't that be enough for you?

I feel like this experience has been a good lesson preparing me for parenthood. Why buy the expensive stroller when your kid will just pee and puke on it? Why get the more expensive, but just as safe as the cheap model, car seat when you'll just end up picking cheerios and god knows what else out of it for the next three years? The only thing I think I can justify spending a ton of money one is a breast pump and that's because it's for me and I take care of my things. I have never once peed on the floor in my bedroom. And while you will occasionally find a stray french fry in my car, I assure you it didn't come from me. Drive through employees drop them in while handing me my bag of food just to make me look bad. It's a conspiracy, X-Files even did an episode about it once.

employment status: fully terminated

Sorry I've been quiet for a couple of days, I've been a bit stressed out with my employment situation. You all know I was laid off in January, but what I haven't really talked about is how I still worked for the same company as a part time employee since then. Looking back on the situation I know that when presented with the option of part time work I should have said no thanks. I was making less money as a part time employee than I did five years ago as a bookseller at Barnes and Noble. Also, unemployment would have paid me more than the part time job did, so I basically screwed myself out of money all while working myself like crazy. Good times! I think I was just blindsided in January by the layoff and scared because pregnant and laid off didn't seem like a good mix in this economy, so I figured I should take the part time work because it was better than nothing.

Well, the situation has now changed and as of yesterday I am totally, 100% laid off. I had a bit of a hard time with this when I got the news last week, because the news was very vague and even made it sound like I was still employed. Then things started to become more clear and it was looking like I wouldn't be eligible for unemployment. And then finally the dust settled and I was able to file for unemployment. Assuming this all goes as planned, the unemployment should pay me more than I have been making since January and that actually feels kind of nice. Not that I want to abuse the system in any way, but I've been over working myself trying to help my company and the severance package that all the employees were given in January was not offered to me, so knowing that money will be appearing in my mailbox soon without me having to work too much is a really nice feeling. (Let the record show that the severance packages weren't really anything, they just let everyone keep their laptops, but for some reason I don't get to keep mine. Which really pisses me off even though I don't need the laptop.)

I guess, unlike every other person getting laid off right now, this is actually good news for me. By being on unemployment I'll still be able to get medical disability when I have the baby. And since I have to be actively looking for a job, I will get the joy of seeing the looks on people's faces when big, fat preggo walks into their office for an interview. And it should be fun to watch them uncomfortably interview me all the while wondering when I'm due and not being able to ask. At the very least, this should be good interview practice for me. Of course I'm assuming I get any interviews, which may not happen given the job market right now.

In other news the guestroom/nursery has been painted and it looks incredible. And I'm having a hard time calling it the nursery. Besides the paint there is nothing nursery-ish about it, but eventually it will get there and I suppose I will too. Also, I had the big blank wall painted blue and wow, did it make a difference. I'm actually feeling motivated to find a picture to hang there and order the frames I need to finish it off. Of course, as I'm finally rallying and finishing the house jparks is now talking about moving. Because he apparently has no clue that the market value of homes in this area are tanking and we can't sell for nearly as much as we paid or owe. And if you happen to be one of those people that agrees with jparks and now is so the best time to sell! sell! sell! even if you lose money, then might I suggest you shut your pie hole?

a decision has been made!

I know you've been on the edge of your seat wondering what I plan on doing with that big blank wall in my living room. It's okay to admit it, I find it flattering that you care that much.

I really thought long and hard about the collage wall idea, but in the end I'm just not creative enough to do that. I don't have the eye required to pick out pieces that are different but cohesive. And unless someone out there is hella bored and willing to do that part for me, (picking out the frames is also something I am not capable of doing and would have to outsource) I'm skipping the collage. So where does that leave me and my boring living room?

The day after I made that post a new CB2 catalog arrived. I was mindlessly thumbing through it when I found this picture:



Holy crap, WANT! Now I'm on the hunt for a picture I can blow up and stick in those frames. I originally wanted something New Orleans-ish, but after searching stock photo sites and coming up empty handed and then searching etsy only to fall in love with various pictures, but have sellers not willing to sell me the file (not surprising) I have decided that maybe now is not the time to be picky. And besides, it would be super easy to change the picture if I find something perfect later.

I also picked up some paint sample cards because I am having that wall painted a color other than Bonjour Beige. And if it doesn't cost too much, I might have some of the other walls painted as well. Who knew that painting the first floor of my house various shades of brown would turn out to be so boring? Looking back on the color decisions we made originally, I see that we put all the color upstairs where we spend very little time and guests almost never go. Yeah, we're smart like that.

I really thank you for your input on the original post and love knowing that I can count on you to come through for me when I need advice. Stick around because we find out the sex of the baby next week and that means it's time to start decorating the nursery. There's no way in hell I'm capable of doing that without your help unless I want the baby to grow up in a muddy sea of brown.

the blank wall is slowly eating my soul

Jparks and I have owned our house for over a year now and the living rooms walls are still bare. Now that I'm spending hours upon hours every day staring at these walls, I'm starting to think maybe it's time to do something to them. But what? The previous owners had a picture split over three canvasses hung and that worked well. But the previous owners are friends of ours and it's already stalker-ish enough that we now own their house, I think decorating it similar to how they had it would be a overkill. If we decorated like them, then all that's left is for jparks and I to get pregnant because they just had a baby. Oh crap, wait.

Here's a picture of the wall in the living room. The room has high ceilings and the wall goes on forever. There are two speakers hanging on it (which I don't think work right now) so whatever I hang will need to be centered between them though not as high. The wall isn't white, it's a dark cream color and the other walls are various shades of brown.



I was thinking of doing a collage wall, but have no idea how to get started on it. And now I'm thinking that all the holes that a wall of pictures would leave will be a real pain if we ever decide that we're tired of it. But I'm also afraid that one large picture will be too visually heavy for that spot because it would have to be tall as well as wide.

Tips for how to do the collage wall so that it looks intentional and not too ADD? Or should I skip the collage wall because it's more work than it's worth? If I'm skipping it, what the hell should I do? Should I just hire an interior designer? And if so, how do I find one that doesn't specialize in tacky?

Also, we are over that dark couch on that wall. It's too small and a larger one would be better for many reasons. But the one jparks wants is stupid expensive and won't fit through our front door and the one I want is unknown to me because I'm too scared to go couch shopping. Dude, couches are not cheap and spending money right now gives me hives. (let's ignore the fact that I just mentioned hiring an interior designer which costs money)

So, what do you suggest?

(And now that I'm looking at this, I see that my living room is void of color. Crap, I want to paint again)

home ownership is hard. whinnne.

Jparks and I were not made for home improvements. Not that we're doing the actual work, but I'm not even made to arrange for it to be done, as is evident by the many things that have gone wrong over the past week. Way to be overly dramatic Regan, because really things didn't go wrong so much as I went "wait, crap, what?" a couple of times.

First we had new stairs put in. This required the carpet on the existing stairs be ripped out, the bare wood sanded, new wood cut, and finally laid on the steps. I wasn't prepared for the sanding portion of this improvement and was shocked when it set off our smoke alarms. I was even more shocked when the dust settled on every single surface of my house. Jparks ordered me and Lily to the bedroom so we wouldn't suck up too much dust and when we finally were allowed back down, the whole first floor was covered in a light dusting of snow. And because I do not have any clue about how to clean, we were stuck with the dust until our cleaner could come. Seriously, shouldn't the stair guy have warned us?

The next project was having our bedroom painted. The guys came yesterday to do it and holy shit, does that room now look awesome. But I wasn't counting on the fumes. The fumes that made us not able to sleep in our room last night and forced us to sleep on the futon. Do you know how impossible it is to go from a king sized bed to a futon? It is very IMPOSSIBLE. I normally wake up a few times during the night, but last night I was awake more than I was asleep. And the fumes are still bad enough tonight that jparks has ordered us back to the futon for another sleepless night. I am seriously considering knocking jparks out with some Benadryl and going to the hotel around the corner for the night.

We still have another set of stairs to have installed and no way to cover the area to prevent the dust again. Thankfully my cleaning lady won't mind the extra work. And we still have more things to paint, but our bedroom is done so my sleep won't be disturbed anymore. Because after tonight, I refuse to share a futon with my husband ever again, so help me god.

Next month we have jparks large shelving unit installed and I can't wait to see what complications can arise from that. Maybe a worker will nail himself to it and have to spend the night in our room. It really wouldn't surprise me at this point in time.

settling in for the long haul

With the economy really tanking, jparks and I have come to the realization that our quaint little townhouse might be our home for a bit longer than planned. The revelation that this house will not just be a short step on our plan to total house domination (I want a yaaaaarrrrrd) has sent jparks into a frenzy of "OMG, must accomplish every little home improvement we have ever talked about doing, even if it was only mentioned in a fleeting off-handed manner!" While I, on the other hand, decided that maybe it is time to find something to hang in the living room about the couch. (seriously, we have a massive wall there and it is blank. Well almost blank, since two speakers hang from it. When I get home I'll take a picture so you can stop trying to imagine the riveting imagine that is a blank wall)

Some of jparks' home improvements I've been on board for, see the new mattress and fridge, but others I'm just letting him do because trying to stop him would be impossible. Actually it would be possible, but the whining I would have to endure would kill me, for he is truly a champion whiner. Ask Whitney, she's seen it first hand and has witnessed me cave to his whines for vanillaaaaa puuuuuudding when I just finished making chocolate pudding.

His first big project is to have a rather large entertainment center/bookshelf/shelving/drawer/storage unit custom built for our bedroom. Let all of those words sink in and imagine just how much that is costing us. We've had a woman from the company that is building the monstrous piece of furniture over twice now to discuss options and to hand over all the money we have and an IOU for all the money we will make in the future. They are coming in two weeks to remeasure the space and then in February the thing will be constructed in my home, because once complete it is too big to move. Yeah, too big to move. But good news! I get to supply my own knobs and handles for the drawers and cabinets, so that's fun, right?

After this he plans on lowering some built in desks, having two sets of stairs changed from carpet to hard wood (the stair guy only puts the wood in, jparks will have to varnish it himself), and some other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting that he will remind me about as soon as he reads this. My contribution to the house, besides deciding that the living room needs art but not actually shopping for it, was that I decided to buy this for the bathroom counter (sans monogram):



Except it is now unavailable on pbteen because I procrastinated and when it went on clearance all the other 14 year olds beat me to it. Those little bitches. Anyone know of something similar that I can buy? Because if jparks gets his wall sized shelving unit, I think I deserve my little counter sized one.

kicking off the holiday season

Tonight we hung some Christmas lights on the porch. (shut it, I don't care that Thanksgiving isn't here yet) I went with two strands of blue LEDs and two strands of white ones and just sort of wrapped them around the railing on the front of the porch. I'm sure my neighbors will out decorate me in two weeks, but whatever, my lights kick ass right now.

And since I'm not one to stop when something can be done bigger, I'm going back to Target and getting more lights for the porch. All that's left is for me to figure out how you attach the lights to exterior walls without nails or hooks. Duct tape or is that a bit trashy? If it is, I'm going all out and am buying the teal or neon orange duct tape. Why be a little trashy when you can go full trailer park?

I know this looks doesn't look like much, but it's the first picture of our first Christmas without going back to New Orleans. And if things keep going this way, I'm not so sure it's going to suck as much as I was expecting.

the money pit

Jparks and I are quickly rounding the corner on one year of home ownership and I wish I could say it's been easy and fun, and YAY OWNING A HOME RULES! but seriously it stresses me out. Like a lot. As much as I love our little townhouse, I know this is our starter house and I can't help but look at all the little nicks and dings we are causing a think "Holy crap, there goes our resale value"

Like last night I discovered this growing behind my bathroom mirror: I promptly freaked out and made jparks get out of bed to look at it. Then I proceeded to lecture him about how the resale value is gone! We are going to take a hit on this house and will be forced to live here forever. And that would be the end of the world. And then I'll die. The end.

I really want to enjoy my house but I just can't. I look at my hardwood floors and I see all the scratches that my furniture leaves. I look at my carpets and only see the stains on them. I have a problem and I can't stop.

So how do you other home owners get over the fact that living in your house is killing it? Should I just sign up for the prozac now since having kids is going to make the destruction of my house happen that much quicker? Can kids really tear the house apart worse than jparks? I mean, the other night the boy was doing handstands in the bedroom. With his feet up on the walls. Seriously, how much more damage can kids do? Do I just need to accept that when we are ready to sell I'll have to sink a large quantity of money into fixing the house that I no longer want and will therefore have less money to sink into the house I want to buy? Or am I just over-thinking this whole house thing?

Help! I've fallen into my own neurotic mind and I can't get up!

Delta Phi Parks

I often make fun of jparks for acting like a 13 year old girl (He cried at the end of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. A couple of times a year he has a breakdown about his wardrobe and I have to buy him a bunch of new stuff otherwise the other cheerleaders will make fun of him) but the truth is that I haven't aged past 13 either.

I began to realize this when, after the hurricane, I was hunting for a desk. We went to all the typical furniture stores, but their desks were so executive and not at all what I wanted. I wanted something fun! young! hip! Something that didn't scream "I'm going to need you to come in on Sunday too" After much frustration I stumbled upon a Pottery Barn Teen catalog and found the perfect desk. It's bright green, totally functional, and, most important, cute. And with that desk I feel hopelessly in love with PBTeen.

I haven't ordered anything else from them but I do devote large chunks of time to drolling over things I would order if I could decorate my house like a dorm room. I seriously hope PBTeen is still around when my future kids are teenagers. I don't care what they want or what their style is, they will have rooms that look like the catalog threw up in them. I'm also assuming jparks and I will be winning a lottery between now and then because PBTeen ain't cheap.

The latest catalog arrived yesterday and here are the things I would order if jparks wouldn't mind living in a sorority house:

Brown Squirrel! Green Leaf!


Polka Dots! I doubt these sheets come in king size seeing as how teens don't usually have king sized beds. Well, maybe slutty teens have king sized beds.


This bedding set is awesome. Green + bird + circles = awesome!


And a close up of the matching pillow:


I want this lamp in all of these colors:


So simple and clean. A teenager can't possibly appreciate this headboard:


If only it weren't weird for jparks and I to have a bunk bed/desk thing:


I don't know if I want this because I love the color or if I really like the idea of a wardrobe. I could use it to get to Narnia!


More lamps! Because you can't have too much reading light:


What bedroom is complete without a chandelier?


Do you guys remember that fridge I wanted to put upstairs for ice cream? I could have it in green!


Anyone want to guess which color I want this in?


Elephants! (this post may use up my yearly allotment of exclamation points)



And finally, big, white, fake antique keys. Why? Why not!

spring cleaning

So the other day I was cleaning the house before the cleaning crew came and I realized that I have a lot of shoes. Like A LOT. I know, it was a total shock to me too.

This is what my guest bedroom wall looks like:


The rest of this room has been in such disarray that I never realized that something useful could be in that spot, like a bookshelf or a mini fridge so I don't have to walk all the way downstairs for a cold beverage. But now that room is clean and actually room-like and I'm fairly certain I want my mini fridge there. Oh, or a reach in freezer for ice cream!

The first step to having ice cream is to get rid of some shoes. And, believe it or not, that picture was taken after a fairly large shoe purge, so obviously one purge wasn't enough. My next step is to stop buying shoes. Heh, seeing both of those steps written makes me realize just how much I have to change for that freezer. Man, ice cream in bed better be worth it.

As far as getting rid of what I have, I think I need to come up with a system to track the shoes I'm wearing. I mean, that's a lot of shoes and I know I don't wear all of them, but some of the lesser worn ones are cute. And how can you get rid of cute shoes? You can't. Unless you can have ice cream in bed after getting rid of the cute shoes.

I want to whittle that tower down enough that my shoes fit in a closet. Actually let me qualify that a bit: I want them to fit in a closet with room for other things like clothes and vacuums. Can you imagine?!? It's blowing my mind. Are you doubting I can do that? I bet you aren't the only one. But I'll prove you guys wrong, you have no idea how much I want ice cream in bed.

follow up

In case you people think I'm kidding about bad stuff happening in the mornings let me show you the drawer that I broke getting out of the shower this morning:



It's not totally broken-broken just kind of broken. The track is bent and I'm hoping the track in the cabinet isn't bent too. (although I suspect it might be)

The lesson in this is, don't piss me off or I'll come stay the night at your house and in the morning bad shit will happen. And you don't want that, now do you?

chores

Today, while vacuuming and doing the laundry I flipped a circuit breaker switch accidentally. This means no more house cleaning ever again. It's obviously too risky a chore because I was out of cable, internet, and power to a couple of rooms for a few minutes. MINUTES folks, that's like forever in no cable years.

Also, the cats are out of food and I'm taking my sweet ass time refilling their bowl. I would move faster but they are so nice and loving when they want something that I'm kind of enjoying them not having food. They follow me around and become very vocal, in a sad pathetic sort of way. Plus they willingly let me pet them. Without biting me. Seriously, hungry cats are the best. I just better not cross the line from hungry, sweet cats to hungry, eat my face off cats. Eh, maybe I'll go fill their bowl now, I like having a face.

sneak preview

The house is almost ready to be seen. We have the painter finishing up this week (well, he might come back and paint more in our bedroom, but I'm still undecided about that) and the last piece of furniture that I wanted to have in place will hopefully arrive soon. That means pictures and a house warming party are quickly approaching.

Until then, enjoy this one picture sneak preview:

I think this is the perfect reason to quit my job

Have you been on the edge of your seat wondering how our painter debacle ended? I am happy to report that on Monday he showed up exactly on time (maybe he reads my blog. Hello Mr. Painter Man!) and finished our living room and half bathroom by noon (I think. I wasn't home and jparks didn't tell me exactly what time the guy finished). I'm thinking he only did one coat in the bath and it really needs another coat or at least some spots need to be touched up. But I know jparks was getting antsy because he really needed to get to work so there was no time for second coats.

By the end of the day jparks was all "We are never hiring another painter. Never!" But the truth is that I will hire another painter to finish up the house. There is no way I'm going to have the time or energy to do it myself and some of it will just end up a big mess if I try. The problem (again) is that someone needs to be home while the painter is there. And as I mentioned, it's really hard for either jparks or I to work from home.

So today I was toying with ways to get the job finished without either of us having to be home. Maybe I could hire a house sitter to sit in the house while the painter is there. Or hire a cleaning crew to come while the painter is working. Then pay the painter a bit extra to watch the cleaning crew and pay the cleaning crew a bit extra to watch the painter. Or maybe I could buy a nanny cam and set it up in the room that the painter is working in. Or maybe I could get a camcorder and strap it to Lily's back. Then I could have her sit and video the painter all day.

Really, how can I pick just one of these ideas when they are all so good?

dude, owning a home is stressful

People keep asking to see pictures of our new house and I keep saying soon! Really soon! But not right now! See, I'm a bit OCD (surprise!) and I want my house to be finished before I start showing it off. Hence the housewarming not happening until October. Of 2012.

First on my list of things to do was get the living room painted. We decided to go with painters for the job because there are stairs involved. Stairs and really high spots. And I'm short. And you might not know it from my hobbies but I'm afraid of heights. And I'm afraid of being on a ladder during an earthquake. Is there a name for that particular phobia?

After having a couple of painters give us bids I decided not to hire the cheapest guy, but to hire the guy that could come the earliest and said he could get the job done in one day because he has an assistant. That was great news because jparks and I can't really hang out at the house instead of going to work for more than one day. We are both way too important for that.

On Wednesday the painter showed up. Without his assistant. "Hey, this might take two days since I don't have my assistant. But he should be here tomorrow and we should be able to get it done." okay, fine. jparks will try to work from home that morning and I'll take the afternoon off. Except, later the same day, he announces "You know, if my assistant can't make it tomorrow I might have to finish up on Monday." Do you see where this is going, because I didn't. I was all "Of course his assistant will show up! People are nice and good and always do as they promise. Look a rainbow!" I'm such a twit. Or knitting wit, as my mom likes to say.

On Thursday he came back sans assistant. That is also the day my head exploded. I think the two things are related but who knows for sure. He painted enough to say "look I painted!" but not enough that we are able to put our living room back together. Because being able to sit on your couch is a luxury jparks and I just don't need right now. Today we had a coffee table delivered. I have no freaking idea where it's going to go, but that's part of the fun. Our living room is a giant Tetris game and I can't wait to get home and play.

On Monday the painter is coming back to hopefully finish everything. He says that for going over the estimated time frame he's going to touch up some of our scuffed walls for free. I'm thinking that should only take an extra 4 days. 5, if his assistant doesn't show up.

tower of shoes

I'm definitely feeling like a home owner as jparks and I spent a large chunk of our long weekend working on various home projects. I painted and he elfa-tized our bedroom closet.

In order to add the new shelving he had to remove all of my shoes from the closet. He stacked the ones in boxes in another closet and dumped all of the ones not in boxes into a big pile. Normally I would have yelled at him for this, but I was too busy to care. I was also too busy to count my shoes and take a nice picture of them. Instead I present you with this:



I'm not certain how many pairs of shoes are in this pile and tower configuration, but I do know that this is not all of the shoes in the house. I swear, I'm going to count them this week. Scout's honor!

shoe count coming soon!

Did I sufficiently depress everyone? Probably not, I probably just depressed myself. Aw well, time for the cheering up!

I bet your wondering when I'm going to admit how many pairs of shoes I own. I'm wondering that myself. This weekend is the planned official shoe count and photo op. It's number one two three on my list of things to do. Along with painting, finishing the unpacking, adding more storage unit pieces to my closet, cleaning out my closet, figuring out why I'm having trouble uploading pictures, trapeze, and dinner with friends. hmm, that's a lot of stuff. But I promise to get those dang shoes counted.

I really wanted to wait until my shoes for the stripper class came in to do the count, but I think they might be awhile still. I won't link to them because they are really awesome and I want to post pictures of them myself. All I'll say is that they are red. Red stripper shoes make me happier than they should. Of course, I thought about getting these but realized I better wait until I turn pro. You've got to save something exciting for later.

welcome to the neighborhood

I met one of my neighbors yesterday while I wearing a shirt with two unicorns humping on it. What a great way to make a first impression. I hope she didn't run off and tell the rest of the neighborhood that delinquents have moved in. I would hate to have to toilet paper everyone's porches to prove them right.

In other news, I have my stripper class today and I can't even begin to find words for how sexy it will be. This morning I couldn't find my razor so I didn't shave my legs. yay for built in leg warmers! And the studio suggests you wear "sexy work out clothes" and not bring shoes as they will provide you with stilettos. Seeing as how I don't even know what "sexy work out clothes" are, much less own any, I'm wearing gray capri workout pants and the previously mentioned humping unicorns shirt. I thought it would be appropriate. And maybe humping unicorns equals sexy? This will look amazing once I slip into a pair of four inch lucite heels. Fingers crossed that they have blinky lights in the heels!

Also, it's time to hit you kind folks up for more money. The race is quickly approaching and we haven't reached our goal yet. clicky clicky to save boobies.

moving moving moving, get them Parks moving

Do you know what stupid thing I did last night? I had a friend come and pack up my tv, tivo, modem, iMac, and any other items that could provide entertainment or background noise. Good lord what a boring night it was. I guess I could have put on my iPod but then I would have been walking around with headphones on and that's like inviting a serial killer to sneak up behind you, kill you, and wear your skin like a pretty pretty dress. And that just sounds so unappealing, although I would make a bitching dress.

Tonight is painting night at the new place, followed by cleaning lady/cable day, and then the biggie: Moving Day. All of which jparks is out of town for. Lucky bastard. No, I keed, I totally gave him permission to go out of town. Actually, I might have forced him to go. Trust me, it's easier if he's in another state for the move.


On a totally different, but slightly related, subject I signed up for an intro to being a stripper class. It's really an intro to sensual dance class, but poles and stilettos are involved so I think that qualifies it as a stripper class. This way, when jparks and I can't afford the mortgage, I can go work at a club and make the big bucks. My mom must be so proud right now.

(You know I'm not really going to strip, right? But I am really taking the class. You've got to try new things. And I figure pole dancing kinda blends well with aerial acrobatics)