My new favorite conversation via text messages

me: "I have another f'ing nail in my tire. How is that possible?!?"

whitneybee: "Is someone following you around dropping nails?" (I think that's what she said, I might have accidentally deleted that message)

"I guess I get them when I'm trolling for hot man ass at construction sites."

"You'll have to start trolling for hot man ass somewhere else, preferably a place with less sharp objects on the ground."

"So the broken glass factory is out. Dang, lots of hot man ass there."

"I know. We've really cut down on spots for trolling. Maybe you need to find a different form of transportation for trolling for hot man ass."

"Bareback unicorn for trolling?"

"I think that would definitely draw attention to you. It's a bit more interesting than a Segway at least."

Anyone know where I can rent a unicorn?