warning: this was written while I was tired

On Sunday I set out to run 18 miles. Unfortunately I did not actually complete the full 18 miles. At mile 10 my knee started to hurt but I was about 4 miles from my car. My options were either I plow through the pain and run back to the car or die on a bench on the side of the road. I can honestly say that the bench might have been the smarter option but I'm dumb so I ran back to my car. I ended up finishing the day with only 14 miles completed and, since I had set out to do more than that, I wasn't allowed to have a post run doughnut. My running rules suck. I think I need a backup treat for days when I don't run as far as I had wanted. Something as tasty as a doughnut, but not as indulgent. Does such a thing exist?

After my morning of running, jparks and I headed to a birthday dinner for a friend's daughter. I warned our hosts that I might eat them out of house and home and I don't think I let them down. They had a lovely heirloom tomato salad and I think I ate about half of it. And it was meant for 9 people. I probably should have been embarrassed by my rapid consumption of all the food but HUNGRY.

After eating myself sick, the hunger was replaced by TIRED. Not like, "gee, I could take a nap" tired, it was more like "I can't function as a human, please come lower me onto the toilet and then lift me off of it, because that much work is too much" tired. Once we got home I resisted sleep as much as possible and, like a toddler, I got myself all worked up about something and started the irrational kind of crying that jparks can't help but laugh at. I'm fairly certain I was all worked up because I realized I had been giving Lily exactly half as much medicine as she was supposed to get and that's why she's still sick. Hi, I suck as a dog mom, imagine how awesome I'm going to be as a human mom. And that thought was enough to make me cry big, wet, can't catch my breath tears.

After much sobbing and "waaaa, I suck! Dog protective services is going to come take Lily away!" jparks knocked me out with some tylenol with codeine (my prescription is about to run out and it is seriously good for the night after a long run. How do I get more without seeming like a junkie? I mean, you can't really ask a doctor for more tylenol with codeine, can you?) I slept a full night, dead to the world, but still woke up this morning feeling like I could sleep some more. I got through my day at work with no additional caffeine, but it was a long, tedious day and I routinely felt like I was about to fall asleep on my keyboard.

I'm home now and, after about two sips of wine, I feel like I'm about to pass out on the couch. I've given Lily her correct dose of medicine and cleaned up the dinner dishes so I see no reason not to go to bed, even thought it's still early. (8:30 early to be exact) This is definitely the one side effect of running I never saw coming, the constant exhaustion. Who would have thought long distance running would take so damn much out of you.


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