lub lub lub. or is it lube lube lube?

I woke up this morning and found a McDonald's cheeseburger, a pack of Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of KY Yours + Mine lubricant in my purse. My favorite part about this collection is that the KY was stolen from a vendor table at the BlogHer cocktail party held in Macy's. Look, don't judge me, stealing the lub had to be done for many reasons:

The commercials for that stupid lub made me curious enough to check it out in Target, but then I immediately recoiled in horror when I saw that it cost over $20. I'm willing to spend $20 on a lot of stupid things, but for something that is getting mixed reviews and might possibly burn my girl bits? I think not.

KY sponsored the portion of the cocktail party on the lingerie floor, but then was only giving out teeny tiny samples of lubricant. Okay a small sample of expensive lub is better than none, but the samples weren't of the Yours + Mine; they were some other lub that I'm assuming retails for much less. But then they had a display of the Yours + Mine sitting on a table, looking all tempting and free. But as soon as you picked up a box a rep would kindly inform you that those are just for show, please set it back down and how about a little tiny sample of this cheaper product to take home? If that's not asking for someone to steal a box I don't know what is.

I have never shoplifted a thing in my life, but now I sort of have. I mean, the lub was in a Macy's and I removed it from there without paying for it, so shoplifting! Yay, I am badass! And I didn't just steal anything, I stole $20 lub! That's the equivalent of stealing a Louis Vuitton purse. I mean, if you're going to start a life of crime, you might as well go big, right?