Have you ever been having a conversation with me and I just steamrolled you, mid sentence, no apologies, you need to listen to ME now? Dear god, I cringe. And I apologize. Crap, I'm an ass.
See, I never realized I did that until yesterday. No really, I had no clue. The way I found out was my boss had to tell me to shut up and let him finish. Okay, so he didn't say shut up, but he did have to tell me to let him finish. At first I was a bit shocked, "How dare he tell me to let him finish!" But then I realized "Holy crap I need to let him finish!" I sat there for the rest of the time he was speaking, nodding occasionally, waiting patiently for my turn. It was probably the first time I ever waited for my turn to speak.
I can honestly say I have no idea how long I've interrupted people like this. I think it happens when I'm trying to make a point that I understand what we are talking about. Or if I think I have more information on the subject and you need to know it rightthissecondnoitcannotwait. Or if I just want you to shut up.
I'm going to try to control this urge from now on, but I'm not sure how successful I'll be. Yesterday afternoon, the same afternoon that he had to tell me to let him finish, I ran all over my boss again. But, at least this time I recognized I was doing it. And I kinda cut myself short. And then I tried to sit there nodding until he was done. Nod nod nod It just seems so pointless. And condescending. Nodding adds nothing! But I will do it. I must do it!
I'll probably only succeed at this if I buy myself a muzzle. Or a ball gag. That would totally keep me quiet.
OH ... I read a study about something like this, it said women had to butt in or they'd never get a word out. So, to a degree you are the fabulously successful vixen that you are because you do this ... or I shouldn't read Cosmo.
ReplyDeleteI say pretend you are learning another language and really listen, then think of what you are going to say next. I learned a lot about listening from what little learning of Japanese I've done. Occasionally ask people to repeat themselves without saying 'huh?'.
Is JParks up for the zexy ball gag action?
Pam, I think I'm going to use that study as my excuse for when I can't help but interrupt people.
ReplyDeleteAnd "huh" is one of my pet peeves.
Adam does that too. Or he used to. He would know what I was going to say and just cut me off. His excuse was that at work conversations would go like that and it was a lot more efficient. I needed to remind him that I am, in fact, not an engineer and I like to finish my sentances. I'm geekly like that.
ReplyDeleteHe's much better now, but I might get him a ball gag just for fun.
Apparently, I used to interupt a lot - I can't help it , I like to talk! But then a co-worker started referring to me as 'Interuptosaurus' whenever I did so. That helped to curb the habit.
ReplyDeleteBut now whenever someone interupts me, an image of a Tryannosaurus Rex flashes through my head. I don't remember ever thinking that of you though, if it makes you feel better.
I admit I do that, too. I forget when I finally learned/figured it out that I did/do. Out of the three possible reasons you listed, I definitely do it because of the first two, and rarely on the third. But it's hard to not interrupt when you want someone to realize you understand! Maybe I should get the sexy gag ball. Sigh. I try to catch myself, but my success rate is not 100%. I am usually fairly good about saying afterward, "I'm sorry, I interrupted you, what were you going to say?" to give the other person a chance to say what they originally wanted. But I need to catch myself earlier more often.
ReplyDelete