Do you know what's a bad idea? Reading a normally sane blogger's post about how swine flu very well could kill us all. Especially after spending a day thinking to yourself "Remember when SARS was supposed to kill us all and we survived? This is just SARS all over again! You'll be fine!" Now I sort of want to move to a cabin in the woods, hole up with a supply of canned goods, and wait this thing out. You know, assuming it can be waited out and we're not all going to die.
It's funny how reading one person's opinion can push you over the edge. I mean, I consider myself generally well informed, but show me one person I respect getting overly worried and the worry becomes contagious. As contagious as swine flu, if you will. I've been trying to balance this new crazy "we're going to die from bacon's revenge" worry with a sensible approach to swine flu. Meaning I've been washing my hands every 15 minutes and limiting my time on cnn.com to checking it only once a day or so. Also, I might be checking out which store has the cheapest Lysol on sale right now.
It also doesn't help soothe my mind any that I've got jury duty this week and either today or tomorrow I'm going to have to actually go to the courthouse. You just know the courthouse is swimming with swine flu. And probably every other disease known to man. Stupid jury duty, it will be the death of me.
Speaking of jury duty, wow how much does it suck? I've never been summoned before and I had no idea it was a week of checking the court's website every two hours to see if I need to report. Which translates to "Did you have things you wanted to do this week, like go to your OB appointment? Well, suck it potential juror because we will make that impossible for you!" My plan is to go in wearing whatever makes me look the most pregnant and explain that I have to pee every ten minutes. Hopefully I'll be excused quite quickly and won't have to fake my water breaking.
Also, not that I'm counting on making any money off of jury duty, but did you know that they only pay $15 a day? I don't even understand how that can be legal. $15 a day is not payment, it wouldn't even cover the cost of parking and lunch. As an aside, does anyone find it humorous that the unemployed lady is complaining about the money she could make off of jury duty? What's that you say? Beggars can't be choosers? I don't know what you're talking about.
Our jury duty system sucks. You get a notice in the mail with your date and you have to call the NIGHT BEFORE to see if they need you. The automated menu asks you what day you have to appear (Push 1 for Monday, 2 for Tuesday, etc) and then tells you the juror numbers needed for that day. Fortunately, my number was 700-something and they only need 500-something.
ReplyDelete"It’s funny how reading one person’s opinion can push you over the edge." Totally! That said, don't read Dooce's book until after the baby is born. I'm about halfway through it and have sworn off having babies forever and ever. And also any other lifetimes I may have after that.
Hey, you should hold out to be on a Federal case. http://adam.haberlach.org/2008/10/03/jury-duty-finally-over/
ReplyDeleteI like your plan of looking very pregnant and getting up to pee every ten minutes. I'd also bring a bag with snacks and drinks and explain that you can't let your blood sugar get low. Then you can commandeer a second chair and put your feet up and complain about swollen feet - bonus points for a back pillow. AND you can wear a mask and carry antibacterial hand-gel so you and your little baby don't get swine flu!
ReplyDeleteI got a notice for jury duty when I was eight months pregnant. I was lucky that I didn't have to go in but I had a whole plan ready!
ReplyDeleteI agree - a face mask and glove and anti bacterial whatever. Keep asking people to move away from you for the safety of the baby. Rub your stomach (fitted in a tight belly enhancing shirt) as if you might be feeling contractions and act a bit dizzy around the judge who gets to keep or let you go (these tactics also worked great for me at target where they would inevitably open up a new line just got me.) Don't hold out for grand jury even though it usually pays twice as much because it is a guaranteed 4-6 month stint involving deciding what level of murder all the murderers get charged with and having to see all the crime scene photos. Sad and horrid. If it was me who got you paranoid just remember I'm coming from one complication filled pregnancy and staring down the muzzle of hurricane season so ALL my anxiety and paranoia should be ignored by everyone except Mike.
ReplyDeleteI was summoned once in college and got out of it because I lived 2000 miles away. And then I bragged about that and got summoned in CA, to the Redwood City courthouse, right around the Scott Peterson trial. THANKFULLY, I called the night before and they didn't need me. That was quite a few years ago. So OF COURSE I bragged about that and just got my summons in the mail last week for next Tuesday. I am so going to get called and be on the trial of the century.
ReplyDeleteNO MORE BRAGGING FOR ME, JURY SUMMONING GODS!
Jury duty is a small price to pay to live in a functioning democracy.
ReplyDeleteRD: this is not a democracy, it is a representative democracy, and no, it is not a small price to pay, because they don't FUCKING let you out of it even if you have two small children and no one but yourself to care for them!!!
ReplyDelete