FAIL Friday

Things I have failed at today:

Making dinner. I managed to burn dinner. Dinner that was made in a crock pot. Do you know how hard it is to burn things in a crock pot? Almost impossible. Then the rice was supposed to be like fried rice and not goopey like a soggy casserole. My rice was goopey. Yum.

After dinner I decided to fluff some balls. Except they didn't really fluff as much as just tear. I gave up for tonight and will try again tomorrow when, hopefully, the fail has washed off of me.

Next I decided to start making the caramel apples I wanted for tomorrow night. People keep saying that caramel apples are easy to make, but let me take a moment to say that those people are lying pieces of shit. Sure, they might be easy if you don't want them to look appealing but, if you want to be able to look the finished product and not want to vomit, then they are a lot of damn work. Thus far I have warty apple covered in bubbles, measles apple covered in mini m&m's that are sliding off its side, and jagged shards of glass apple that is covered in almond slivers.

I would have pictures of these apples, but tonight I also failed at photography.

And now my blog is acting like a little brat and refusing to save or post. I quit. If you're reading this it's because it pulled its head out of its ass an started doing it's sole purpose in this world: publishing content.

edit: I woke up this morning and the caramel is no longer on the apples. It just slid right off of them and puddled on the tray. People that successfully make caramel apples suck.