yet another addiction to break

Saturday morning jparks and I woke up and headed to San Francisco for brunch. By the time we got on the road my head had started to pound and I figured I just needed food. After much mayhem (jparks' check engine light came on, we couldn't park anywhere near the place we wanted to eat) we gave up on food in San Francisco and headed over to Berkeley for crepes. As we drove over the Bay, my headache increased from a dull pounding to a throbbing so painful I could no longer keep my eyes open, much less tell jparks how badly I wanted food and that if he didn't feed me soon I would perish in the passenger seat. And my ghost would come back to haunt him since I died because he would not feed me.

After arriving in Berkeley, jparks' and I ate and then parted ways. I figured I would give my body some time to get the blood sugar flowing and then I would feel better. But after half an hour my head was still throbbing, and I figured coffee would help. I grabbed a latte and figured in another half hour I would feel human again. But the latte was beaten by the headache and I continued to feel crappy.

At this point in time I wandered to the store where jparks was playing Warlord and pouted and moaned and generally was a pain in the ass. Hey, why should he have fun when my head hurts? He suggested I go buy some aspirin or excedrin or please just go away so he can play cards. I decided not to heed his advice.

I walked to another coffee place, plunked down $3.65 for another freaking latte and waited. I knew in another half hour I would feel better. This second latte was magical, it was going to work!

And it did! Not long after I finished it, I felt better and was ready to get on with my day. But this got me thinking; had I recently built a caffeine addiction so strong that it would take 2 lattes to keep it in check? Could I not skip my morning coffee without wanting to rip my head off?

I didn't think I was consuming enough caffeine to warrant such a strong addiction. I had a latte or cup of coffee in the morning and sometimes a second in the afternoon, but that's it. I try to drink water during the day and try not to drink unnecessary caffeine, but somehow enough had been sneaking in to make me a junkie. It was officially time to admit I had a problem.

But I wasn't ready to do something about it just yet. I mean I could stop buying shoes for 90 days, but no way in hell could I go cold turkey from caffeine at the same time. Come on, give me at least one of my two vices.

But this morning, when I went to Whole Foods and ordered my normal latte, the barista asked me "You know that comes with four shots of espresso, is that okay?" It's like she knew I had a problem and needed a slap to bring me back to reality. 4 Shots! Who drinks 4 shots of espresso in the morning?!? Apparently me! And that's why I'm feeling like a big pile of flaming dog crap after it's been stepped on, when I skip coffee in the mornings.

So now I'm ready to admit I have a problem. But I think, unlike the shoes, just cutting caffeine out of my life is not the solution. I think I'm going to have to slowly lower my consumption down to a normal level. Maybe starting by only consuming 3 shots of espresso per day. Yeah, that can be tomorrow's goal. And I'm fine if I need to hover at that level for a bit. Baby steps with this addiction. Otherwise I might kill a person and I bet in jail I won't be given 4 shots of espresso daily.