Dallas, the long version

Dallas was fun fun fun.

We might have left New Orleans a little later than we meant to, which made us arrive in Dallas later than we had planned. Okay, the truth is I don’t think we had ANY idea exactly where Dallas was located and therefore we thought it would be super quick and easy to get there. Did you know it takes a really long time to drive there? And looping around Shreveport instead of bypassing it is NOT the fastest way back to New Orleans. But other than that and some heavy traffic we made really good time.

We stayed with Pam’s friend Maura and she has a dog that looks exactly like Lily, but bigger. Oh and she also is in possession of the Most. Awesome. House. EVER! Seriously it looks like a normal house from the outside and then you step into it. Holy decorating skills Batman!

In case I forgot to mention it the whole purpose of going to Dallas, besides visiting Pam’s high school friends and seeing their wicked cool houses, was to shop. Shop like no woman has shopped before. Apparently Dallas has 3 huge ass malls and each one makes Lakeside Mall look tiny and pathetic. Like a mini practice mall. Plus Dallas has an IKEA, okay they don’t yet, but we drove past the building and tears nearly ran down my face. So beautiful.

We started Saturday with brunch at a place called Café Brazil. I had the best pan-crepes money could buy. And bacon. You need to load up on protein and grease so you don’t burn out half way through a day of shopping.

After brunch we went to Sam Moon’s. We don’t have a Sam Moon’s here in NOLA, but we do have the jewelry show a few times a year. Sam Moon and the jewelry show are basically one and the same. Scary woman and teenagers with too much makeup rooting through piles of purses, scarves, wallets and walls upon walls of earrings and necklaces looking for the one non-tacky thing there. Actually I think said woman and teenagers are really looking for the many many tacky things there, but for the good of humanity I like to think they are like me, searching for the non-tacky items. Anyway, I ended up finding 3 pairs of earrings and a wallet to buy. All non-tacky, thankyouverymuch.

After Sam Moon’s we went to Stonebriar Centre . Seriously this is not a mall for the faint of heart. It has valet parking for god’s sake! And a map you can take a carry with you. And St. Bernard dogs to bring you water when you are too tired to carry on any farther.

The highlight of my mall experience was Sephora. How is it that a girl who wears so little makeup can find so much joy in a store that only sells makeup and other beauty products? It’s one of God’s cruel jokes. Another is the fact that we don’t have a Sephora here in NOLA. WHY GOD?!? WHY MUST YOU PUNISH US SO??? We went to Spehora so Pam could have her eyes done as a trial for her wedding, but instead the sales girl deemed me more pathetic and helped me first. She did my eyes all dark and dramatic with greens. I felt pretty stupid walking around the rest of the day, but Pam, Polly, and Kettie all swore it looked good. I think they were all secretly laughing behind my back. The rest of the girls also got their eyes done, but they looked way more normal than I did. And Polly and Kettie were suckered into buying some nice hand cream at the register. Granted it did work really well, but it’s funny that they got suckered and the sales girls didn’t even try and tempt Pam and I with it. We must have looked very street wise and tough. Like we don’t fall for cheesy sales attempts.

Jesus, can you believe I’m still going on about Dallas? If you’ve made it this far you deserve a treat.

I’ll be quicker from here on out. I swear.

After the mall we went back to Maura’s and changed for dinner and a night out. Expect that we stuffed ourselves so full during dinner that all we had the energy to do was go back to Maura’s and drink wine.

Sunday morning we packed up our stuff and some of Maura’s (okay not really but we should of as her stuff was so cool) and headed back for New Orleans. We stopped in Natchitouches for a tour of Pam’s geek high school and meat pies. Oh and we saw the outside of the Steel Magnolias house. Very impressive.

And that’s it. That’s my play by play report of Dallas vaca. Pretty interesting right?