her screams could be heard for miles

Pippa apparently got the memo about Santa being scary as shit and Truman finally out grew that fear. And yes, I did make Pippa take two pictures despite her fear because nothing brings me joy like a screaming child on Santa's lap. 

Despite how happy he looks about meeting Santa, Truman would like you to know that he doesn't need Santa to come to his house, even if he is bringing gifts. 

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

the big fat truth

Confession time: I've pretty much let myself go. That's putting it nicely; the truth is I've been eating crap lately and in excessive quantities with no stop button. If it's consumable, I consume it. I've put on weight, some of my skinny jeans are far from fitting, and well, I don't want to be seen naked. Read that as you will.

I have no excuse for this other than lately I've had this food void that I can't fill. It's not a craving exactly as I don't want any one specific food, I just want food. I thought maybe I wanted something carb heavy but when I indulge in that, it's not satisfying. I thought I wanted a hunk of beef, and while our steaks were delicious, they also weren't satisfying. Cookies? Meh. Egg Salad? Good not great. Spinach and Artichoke dip? Super tasty but after it I still wanted something else.

I read somewhere that if you think you're hungry ask yourself if steamed fish and broccoli sound good. If they do then go ahead and eat, if not then move on because you're not really hungry. I love this idea but my problem is that steamed fish does sound good. But I know I would eat it and still want something else, something different after it. I mean, what's up with this?

Did I mention that I'm also not ever really hungry? Like I just eat because I know I need to eat and once I start I can't stop. "Hey look, a tin of butter cookies! I should eat one because they're festive and shit. Hell, I ate one I might as well keep going." Y'all, it's so weird that despite having an IUD and jparks having had a vasectomy, I still took a pregnancy test because what else could cause this food hole? It came back negative probably because of the lack of wanting to be seen naked.

Starting in early January I'm going to try a round of Whole 30 with some other internet people and see if that helps reset this weirdness I have happening. If it doesn't, I don't really know what I'll do. Wire my jaw shut? Is that still an option? Do you see a dentist for it or is it a cosmetic procedure now?

time to make new plans

Since leaving New Orleans after Katrina, I've not kept it secret that I, some day, would like to move back. I understand that it's not reasonable to think we'll do that while the kids are young because nothing sounds more torturous than hurricane evacuations with two small kids, but I kind of assumed maybe we would retire there? Don't ask for specifics of my plan, I really haven't given it much thought.

I was back in New Orleans last week for a gathering of women (essentially a girls' weekend away with 60 people. Which, yes 60 people is a lot of people for me to scare into not liking me but I was up to the task) and I ended up getting super sick. It was definitely allergies and I definitely felt like death was chasing me around the Quarter asking to see my boobs in exchange for a few more minutes of life. Eventually I went to a CVS where I handed the pharmacist my license and said "I don't know what I want but you'll need this for whatever you're about to sell me." I walked out with Mucinex-D, a neti pot, some Benadryll, and Fritos. Unrelated to the story, the pharmacist told me the Mucinex-D was non drowsy so I took a dose before the Friday night party. I then spent that party sitting in a leather chair trying not to drool on myself.

I spent most of the weekend drugged to the point where I thought even having one beer would win me a ride in an ambulance and a pumped stomach but I never once got any relief from the congestion. I slept a total of maybe 6 hours over three nights because when I laid down the pressure built up and I didn't want my face to blow off. By Sunday morning I was texting a friend "I hate everything" because I just honestly did. I wanted to go back to Austin where I still suffer from allergy issues but at least drugs keep everything in check.

I think this trip has really made me reconsider my plans to move us back and now I'm a little sad panda about it. I'm one of those people that abandoned the city when it needed people the most but at least I could justify it in my mind with the thought of "some day I'll be back!" But now? I don't think I can do it. I can't move somewhere knowing how sick I'll be on a daily basis. It hurts my heart to accept it, but I don't think New Orleans is in the cards for us anymore. And it's not that I think the city is awaiting our return with a parade all queued up and Drew Brees waiting to hug us, but ugh, it stills hurts.

So there you have it, I went away for a fun girls' weekend and had my future plans crushed. Wheee, I'm super fun! You totally want to invite me to parties, I'm not at all a Debbie Downer.

(I am, however, very nice. Ask anyone that was part of that weekend, they'll all tell you. I'm totally fucking nice.)

vacationed

Have you ever gone a vacation that is equal parts relaxing but also equal parts "Thank god I picked up a bottle of Xanax from my doctor before we left home"? Because that is the exact kind of vacation we went on recently and I'm honestly still trying to process the whole experience. 

Last Friday we left for Jamaica, which put us flying into south Florida where Hurricane Sandy was sitting off the coast. I'm a nervous flyer to begin with but tell me we're going to be flying into hurricane strength winds and you're going find me shitting my pants while I cry in a corner. I did what any reasonable person would do, I ran directly to my doctor and asked for whatever anxiety medicine she was willing to give me. 

I was secretly hoping that our flights would be cancelled and we would have to vacation somewhere else but that wasn't in the cards. One very bumpy flight and a half a Xanax that did nothing for me later, we were in Ft. Lauderdale. I decided I needed to pull out the big guns for our flight out of Florida so I Dramamined myself and drooled my way through the bumps and drops. 

We landed in Jamaica and faced an island that was wrecked by Sandy. The road to our hotel was barely one lane wide in spots, covered in downed power lines and trees. Our hotel was running on a generator with limited gas and no idea when a truck would be able to bring more. They had food but were worried about supplies running low. It was an adventure. 

Despite all of this, every person we met in Jamaica was amazing, warm, and welcoming. The island was being repaired all around us and everyone seemed to be in good spirits about the situation. How could we not relax and enjoy our trip when everyone around us was so calm? Also, the occasional Red Stripe helped me forgot our lack of wifi and inability to video chat with the kids.

It was a great vacation with more than enough drinks, naps, and meals. I would say we came home refreshed but the trip home was a nightmare of flight changes, hotel changes, and awful car rides. But despite all of that, I would do the trip again in a heartbeat. Jamaica was the perfect combination of just enough things to do so we weren't bored, but not so many options that we felt guilty napping for large parts of the day. 

nwm2012

In general I'm a pretty smart person. I'm also overly cautious and a bit of a worrier. It seems these traits extend to all areas of my life except for running. When it comes to that activity I like to throw myself at it without much thought or training but armed with lots of enthusiasm. While that method worked for me twice earlier this year, you would think I would know better than try to run a marathon, 26.2 miles, without completing a training program. You would be wrong.



Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed at 4am and headed to Union Square to join 25,000 other people to run a shit ton. I looked surprisingly happy even though it was still dark and I was about to act on one of the stupidest decisions I have ever made.



It all started back in March when I decide after running a couple of half marathons that I was ready to go all the way. 13.1 miles seemed too easy! I was ready for marathon glory! With that I joined a running group and I stuck with it for a few months. Then four months before my scheduled marathon I dropped out of my marathon training group for a variety of reasons ranging from medical to I just didn't like it. I continued to run but definitely nothing close to the plan I was assigned and not with any kind of regularity. I lived in a bit of denial about the impending marathon and just ran whatever distance I felt like. As September came to a close I decided "eh, what the hell, let's do this marathon!"





I won't lie, this experience was equal parts amazing and awful. I felt great for about 18 miles, despite hills, misty rain, and a stranger running up and kicking me in the shin. I felt like death when I hit mile 19 and around mile 21 I actually sat down on the curb. But it all was fine again at mile 23, when I figured out that running actually felt better than walking.

When I sat down on the curb I really thought I would sit there and figure out how to direct Whitney to me so I could hop in her car and go home. I had given up. But then I took out my phone and checked my text messages and @ replies on Twitter and I was overwhelmed. The outpouring of support from everyone was so much that all of a sudden I knew I couldn't stop. It sounds so stupid but the internet believed in me and knew I could finish so I picked myself up and started moving again. Who am I to disappoint the internet?

My goal time was 6 hours which is ridiculously slow but realistic for my lack of training. I finished in 5:54:36



Thank you internet. Thank you for believing in me and pushing me across that finish line. I couldn't have done it without you. Everyone can have a turn wearing the finisher necklace as a thank you, that seems fair as I wouldn't have it without y'all.