time to make new plans

Since leaving New Orleans after Katrina, I've not kept it secret that I, some day, would like to move back. I understand that it's not reasonable to think we'll do that while the kids are young because nothing sounds more torturous than hurricane evacuations with two small kids, but I kind of assumed maybe we would retire there? Don't ask for specifics of my plan, I really haven't given it much thought.

I was back in New Orleans last week for a gathering of women (essentially a girls' weekend away with 60 people. Which, yes 60 people is a lot of people for me to scare into not liking me but I was up to the task) and I ended up getting super sick. It was definitely allergies and I definitely felt like death was chasing me around the Quarter asking to see my boobs in exchange for a few more minutes of life. Eventually I went to a CVS where I handed the pharmacist my license and said "I don't know what I want but you'll need this for whatever you're about to sell me." I walked out with Mucinex-D, a neti pot, some Benadryll, and Fritos. Unrelated to the story, the pharmacist told me the Mucinex-D was non drowsy so I took a dose before the Friday night party. I then spent that party sitting in a leather chair trying not to drool on myself.

I spent most of the weekend drugged to the point where I thought even having one beer would win me a ride in an ambulance and a pumped stomach but I never once got any relief from the congestion. I slept a total of maybe 6 hours over three nights because when I laid down the pressure built up and I didn't want my face to blow off. By Sunday morning I was texting a friend "I hate everything" because I just honestly did. I wanted to go back to Austin where I still suffer from allergy issues but at least drugs keep everything in check.

I think this trip has really made me reconsider my plans to move us back and now I'm a little sad panda about it. I'm one of those people that abandoned the city when it needed people the most but at least I could justify it in my mind with the thought of "some day I'll be back!" But now? I don't think I can do it. I can't move somewhere knowing how sick I'll be on a daily basis. It hurts my heart to accept it, but I don't think New Orleans is in the cards for us anymore. And it's not that I think the city is awaiting our return with a parade all queued up and Drew Brees waiting to hug us, but ugh, it stills hurts.

So there you have it, I went away for a fun girls' weekend and had my future plans crushed. Wheee, I'm super fun! You totally want to invite me to parties, I'm not at all a Debbie Downer.

(I am, however, very nice. Ask anyone that was part of that weekend, they'll all tell you. I'm totally fucking nice.)