defend New Orleans

I'm not sure if you heard or not, but the other night I was involved in a fight with some internet big shots on Twitter. This post isn't necessarily about that because yes, I realize fighting with people online is exactly as dumb as debating with an invisible person in a chair. But I do want to say that I got in trouble for calling someone a moron and saying they are insensitive without directly saying that person's name and now people are doing the exact same thing about me. I want everyone to know that I'm totally okay with this. These folks think I'm an idiot and that's their opinion, they are allowed to think of me what they want. Opinions: you're allowed to have your's and I can have mine!

That being said, I was also involved in a few fights about New Orleans. Specifically I got all hand flappy over people saying New Orleans should have never been rebuilt. I'm going to get bitchy for a second, but if you ever state that opinion I will assume you are a total fucking idiot. If I find out you live in an area that also suffers from natural disasters, chances are I'm going to be blinded with rage. I'm sorry for this. I can't help it. 

People seem to think New Orleans should have been left to rot after Katrina and everyone that lived there should have uprooted themselves and created lives in new cities. I can't even begin to understand this thought process. People should abandon their homes and buy new ones in another city? How can they afford this when they still have to pay for their destroyed homes in NOLA? Is everyone but me rich enough to say "Screw my first mortgage, I'm going to buy a new home!" 

The fact is that people can not afford to leave NOLA. People depend on that area's Gulf access, swamps, and rivers to make their livelihoods. The estimated income in 2009 (most recent that I could find) was $36,468. I mean, really. You tell me how on that income people can afford to leave their jobs and homes and set up shop somewhere else. Would they like to not worry about hurricanes? Yes, but it's not a worry they can afford to leave behind.  

The other thing is that people just don't want to leave that area. NOLA is their home, where their families are, where their history is. NOLA is their heart and soul. The love that people have for New Orleans is hard to understand unless you're from there. We are New Orleans, New Orleans is us. 

I'm sorry if I came after you on Wednesday because you said New Orleans shouldn't be rebuilt. I'm sorry that I think you're an idiot. I'm sorry that on the 7 year anniversary of the storm that changed my life forever I got a little defensive. I'm sorry that you said something like that while Issac was hitting New Orleans and I was worried about the safety of my family and friends and I attacked. 

If you want to put your money where your mouth is and pay for a family that lost their home to relocate to whatever magic, natural diaster free city you live in, then I will happily sincerely apologize to you. Until then, keep your fucking mouth shut. 

in which I ask very important questions about my hair

Is 32 an appropriate age to go through a midlife crisis? Because a few weeks back I was almost half way through my 32nd year and suddenly consumed with the idea that I needed to do something to make myself seem younger. Cooler. Not so mom-to-two-kids-ish. I happened to have a hair appointment that afternoon and I decided to ask my stylist to bleach my tips and dye them purple. I mean, why not? I'd never had purple hair before (Red hair that was probably a bit closer to purple than red, yes. But straight up purple? No.) and figured if not now, when?

So I asked. And she refused.

Turns out you can't go in for a cut and ask for a dye job because there just isn't time for that kind of ridiculousness. But she also refused in general saying that tips were not really what I wanted. She suggested I book another appointment and let her bleach some streaks hidden under a layer of hair which we could then color. I agreed and went back a month later for my dye job.

And again she refused.

Well, she technically only partially refused. She agreed to go ahead with bleaching some streaks but when it was time to add in some dye, she said she felt like I should really skip the dye and live with the blonde for a little bit. Then she dried my hair and handed me a mirror to check it out. I was unimpressed. Sure, the blonde was neat but it was so hidden and not what I had in mind. But you apparently can't make your hairdresser do something she doesn't want to do, so I went on my way.

I've lived with the blonde for about three weeks now and dammit I still want purple. Here's some of the blonde when you lift up the top layer (Please note my bald spot. I lost so much more hair after Pippa than I did after Truman. Thank god it's growing back)


Holy crap, that's blonde. But once that layer is down, the blonde disappears:


So let me ask you, is it worth the begging I will have to do to get my stylist to dye it purple? The blonde layer goes all the way around my head but really isn't that visible as you can see in the picture. When I run and have my hair in a ponytail I have a pretty awesome racing stripe which makes me want to wear a ponytail all the time. In this picture from a previous post, you can see that sometimes the blonde works it way out into daylight:


Do I beg or not? Is this bad idea jeans at their finest? Do I need to forget about the purple and move on with my old lady life?

I'm going to form a Bitch Face Foundation

I went to Miami over the weekend:


and came home with a series of pictures highlighting a very serious condition I suffer from called Bitch Face.

Bitch Face heading to the white party:


Bitch face wearing new aviator glasses that I'm obsessed with: 

And wearing my new favorite dress on Friday night. Perhaps this Bitch Face is because I'm mad that my legs are so white they look like opaque stockings?


Wait, you need a bitch face close up? I can do that!


Bitch face goes to the Versace Mansion:


And finally Bitch Face catches an early morning flight home:


Perhaps the only time I wasn't sporting Bitch Face was when I ordered drinks poolside or when I won a trip to Jamaica. Although I have no pictures to confirm or deny this hypothesis:

 

Seriously, how do I have any friends when I suffer from such a severe case of bitch face?

(there's a lot of this)

I spend a lot of time running. It's my time to clear my head, leave the kids behind, and (I know this sounds crazy) relax. I used to refuse to listen to music while running because it made me very aware of the amount of time that had passed (3 songs at about 3:30 each equals about 10:30 of running. Why do I feel like I'm dying if it's only been 10:30?) but lately I've abandoned the podcasts and gone back to music. (I've done this because I've also abandoned iTunes and I haven't figured out how to listen to podcasts without it. Am dumb. Very dumb.) 

This switch back to music has led me to do some stupid things while I run like randomly shouting out lyrics or going from running to doing some kind of spastic dance/run/strut move. It's really quite embarrassing and yet I continue to do it, sometimes even in busy public places like while running past Whole Foods. Or a packed bar downtown. It's really not good although it seems the drunk frat boys like laughing at me. 

And now, in case you want to make an ass of yourself too, here are a few of the songs that make me do stupid things.

Down in the Treme, just me and my baby, we're all going crazy! (insert stupid high knees step/strut thing)

FUUUUUCK!

clapclap clapclap

Not gonna lie, I sing the whole song. The. Whole. Song. 

There's plenty more that make me make an ass of myself, but I think you get the idea. Do you have any songs that really put a bit of pep (or a stupid dance move) in your step while running? Share please, I need to grow my playlist!

The Biggest Loser

"Hey Regan, how's the weight loss going? Also, weren't you doing some kind of Biggest Blogging Loser competition?"

Well friends I'm so glad you asked! (Full disclosure: we're pretending someone asked this. I doubt anyone actually remembers that I'm trying to de-fat myself.)

I was participating in an online competition to lose weight and the whole reason I joined was because I figured having to email my weight to a friend would shame me into being motivated. The competition ended Monday night and, holy crap, I won! Since January I've lost 14% of my body weight and dropped two clothing sizes.

Check it out! (highly unflattering muffin top filled picture ahead)

January 9:


April 2: (equally unflattering but not due to a muffin top, what what!)


It's funny but despite having to buy new clothes and seeing the numbers on the scale go down, I really couldn't see a difference until I went back and looked at my starting picture. If you're going to start a diet, please take a before picture. Also, make sure you have a good picture of your face. I think I've lost some weight there but it's hard for me to tell in either picture. And take your measurements!

I know I have more to lose and thanks to the win, I'm feeling pretty motivated. I'm also starting to shift my focus onto building muscle and toning which means I might not see such a rapid drop on the scale anymore, but that's okay. As long as I'm becoming less fat, I'm fine if the scale moves slowly.

Winning the competition came with a cash prize which I used to sign up for a full marathon training group. And then, because I'm a worrier, I signed up for the San Antonio marathon because holy hell, what if it sells out! (it won't) So I'll be spending the hottest part of the year running long distances and cursing myself. A smaller ass better be worth it.